Adoption Story Update

When we last left off- explaining about our process and telling our story, we had just become licensed to adopt in the United States. During our training classes in February, there were a few couples who had been through the process that came in to talk to us- after already receiving their placement with a child. It was neat to hear their stories and listen to what they had to say. It helped us kind of understand how things might go. They explained that once you are approved, they will try to match your profile and criteria with that of a birth family looking to place their child up for adoption. When there is a potential match, they will do what is called a “call for profiles”. This means they will call us and give us the specifics of the birth mom or family’s situation. After hearing the details, we have the choice to be considered for the situation, or to decline involvement. Once we agree to be considered, it is a done deal on our end. They frown very heavily on us changing our mind. In some ways, this was scary to think about because we were told that sometimes you only have hours to make this choice.


After you agree to have your profile shown (the profile is the scrapbook of our lives that we had to create and make multiple copies of) you have to write a Dear Birth mom letter. This is a personalized letter to the birth mom who will be looking at our profile. It answers any questions she may have (such as names we have picked out, community details, family information, about our jobs, how we see each other, etc.). Then, the profile and the letter get sent to the birth mom with several other couples profiles and letters too. Then the waiting begins again. We wait for her to select her “top three”. While our profile is being shown, we are on “hold”. No other birth mom can look at our profile or consider us. Sometimes the hold can be for a week or two, and sometimes it can be much longer. :-)

If the birth mom chooses us for the top three, then we will most likely be called for an interview. These are usually at a restaurant. The way they explained it to us is that one couple will come in for appetizers to meet with the birth mom, then leave. The next couple comes in and eats the main course with her – and then leaves, and finally the last couple gets desserts. It isn’t always this way- sometimes there is a phone interview…. Sometimes the whole meal is shared with just one couple and the birth mom. (Each couple on a separate night).
During the interview, the social worker (who is working closely with the birth mom) will ask any questions that the birth mom might have. The birth mom is usually accompanied by a support person.
Following the interview, everyone goes home and waits again. It is all in the birth mom’s hands at this point. She has to make the decision as to which couple she will choose.


It has become very clear to us that we are not in control of any of this. It is all out of our hands. We made the decision from the beginning to Trust in the Lord with every detail. We’re trusting that He will put us in situations that will be growing to our faith, our relationship and will get us where we need to go next. We know that our baby is out there somewhere. A lot of this stuff is WAY out of our comfort zone… but we know that the Lord is with us and is guiding us each step of the way. There are still nerves, and anxious hearts at times, but there is also a peace that can ONLY be described as that of the Lord’s. And that is a comforting feeling- even when we’re out of our comfy little box. We can’t wait to see what He’s going to do next!